Monday, June 13, 2011
Everything seems crushing onto me now... First it was my result, my worse ever results ever since i study which made me have no choice but to quit school as study is not my cup of coffee or should i say the subject i am taking is not wat i am really capable of....
Now my relationship is on the rock... don't wish to write more about this matter...
All i know now is my future has gone back to darkness, i got no sense of direction now, 1 year of brightness but now it has gone back to darkness... i wish i can be like others strong and steady when relationship crushes but i am different from others. i am not that kind of person who put relationship as a play play thing.
But y... y everyone wanna to torture me, what had i done wrong, can i still be happy as before, y everything had been taken away from me, y..y..y..y i must suffer so much... i can't take this kind of torture anymore... i can't take it anymore... i can't smile, even if i smile is all fake... i can't look forward anymore... i see the road dark... very very dark... is this call the end of the world for me.... i don't know... i felt very very lose now...
saying is more easy than done... everyone is telling me to move forward no matter wat... ya i move forward for that very 1 moment but after yesterday, i can't move forward anymore... the biggest defeat i ever met in life, i tot n-level was my defeat and i pick myself up... but now... 2 defeat or maybe even a 3rd one...
:((((((
1:20 PM
Friday, June 03, 2011
After 1 year of uni, i decided to end it and go over to SAA to continue my studies. A decision was made, to choose between passion and future, i had choosen future. Alot of sim people especially my team mates strongly wanted me to stay and don't give up uni life. But i cannot be selfish to myself, my family and especially my love one... I cannot because of passion and stay on in SIM, wasting money and no progress...
A new start once again after wasting 1 year in SIM... I am more determine to do well this time round with my dear's support. She is the one that is always there for me... Actual fact i am disappointed with my sis and dad... they both just look down on me... Ya so wat if i fail almost all my papers... Where is the encouragement... I onli got it from my dear and my mum... my sis and dad is a great disappointment to me... they just know how to laugh at me while i am struggling to do well... they are just blaming everything and do not know how much i had suffer... if i don't wish to do well, y do i bother to ask people for help... i could have gone out to play everyday but i never... y they had seen only the end results and not the process...
I am really very very disappointed with them real disappointment... i still tot my mum was the bad once always but in the end the most encouragable person is my mum... She understand my suffering... She had changed, she had changed to a better and understandable person... But my sis and dad will only be there laughing, pin pointing me for not being good enough, saying y people can do it y i can't... saying i am just stupid.... etc etc...
you two don't talk to me anymore about school and studies... you all don't understand me...
10:06 PM
